If you are a survivor of sexual abuse or any kind of interference you know already that in the current culture, triggers are everywhere. Triggers are there when you turn on the news when yet another pervert or sicko is arrested. Or it is the constant reminder from the Hollywood #metoo movement. As a survivor myself of molestation, I constantly feel like I can never forget because the world around me never lets me forget. So what can you do? How can you deal with the triggers without regressing in your own life and circumstances? Here are three tips that have helped me and I know can help you too.
Tip # 1: Remind yourself that you are innocent!
Years ago, I finally came to the realization that I did nothing wrong. I was the innocent party in this whole thing. I was a child and did not ask for what happened to me. You have to remind yourself of this too. Whatever happened to you, you did not ask for it. You are the innocent... I use the word innocent because it is the obvious opposite to guilty. Name the fool that did this to you and call him or her the guilty party. YOU ARE INNOCENT! I talk about this one frequently in my book: Surviving Sexual Interference: The power of knowing you did nothing wrong. The idea that blame should be shifted where it belongs. NOT ON YOU- ON THEM!
Tip # 2: Take back your power!
People can only have power over you if you let them have power over you. Take back your feeling of confidence. The feeling you had or should have had before someone abused you. You are worth more than what happened to you. Your life, your breath, your beauty is unique and undeniable and no person should ever take that away from you. RECLAIM YOUR POWER KINGS AND QUEENS! You are very deserving.
Tip # 3: Get out of isolation-tell your story!
One of the biggest mistake I made during my healing process from sexual abuse was that I kept it to myself. When you keep your story in isolation, it heightens the shame associated with what happened to you. Name your shame for the monster it is and tell anyone who will listen. The more you put YOUR story out there, the less shameful it becomes to you. This tip goes hand in hand with the first two because not telling anyone makes it seem as if you did something and that you have no power over it. I share my story often because it not only helps me to keep my healing consistent but guess what- THERE ARE OTHERS! When you are in isolation, you wrongly believe that you are the only one. Getting out of isolation can help so many other people, so when the time is right, start talking. YOUR STORY IS VERY IMPORTANT!
Click here for more tips in helping you cope with Sexual interference! I am a #metoo survivor and you can be too.
Wife and mother of 4 kids. Three time climber on the CN Tower. With a best time of 28 minutes. I use to have the t-shirt to prove it. I love mangoes and Okra( yes that slimy vegetable). But not together. That would be just odd. Favorite movie is "Pay it Forward"